Faced with early menopause and no longer wanting to "have it all" 44 year-old east-coaster pursuing motherhood via donor egg or embryo donation
Monday, September 22, 2008
Anonymous - Side Swipe Part 2 - Signed, "Harsh and Awful"
For the record I have never said that I disagree with Anonymous, but her tactics leave some thing to be desired. Would love to get her "story...."
I will let her speak for herself:
C'mon Jade, WTF does my identity matter, really? We're both anonymous in this vast blogosphere. And how will that change the truths I've written one iota?
As for this comment you made in your last post: "That I am dragging my feet and soon it will be too late to get pregnant and still have the energy to keep up with an infant. Gee, hmmm, wasn't that what the last post was all about?"
Yes, that was what your last post was about. But Jade, that's what ALL of your posts have been about. The only thing that changes is time - it's the September 2008 post vs. pick-whatever-post-in-2006-or-2007. Go look - same post today as any month last year or the year before that! You're lamenting over B* and this sad excuse for a relationship when, instead, you should be FURIOUS WITH YOURSELF that you're on the same subject 2 years later and the needle hasn't moved even a millimeter!
You have allowed B* to make your life into the movie Groundhog Day. But you're not just trashing years from your life, you're trashing the ONLY remaining years you have to start a family and make your life what YOU want. That's pretty critical stuff - FAR too important to hand over to some loser who's too cowardly to own his truth.
I'm harsh - yeah, I get that, really. Sadly, I get that's the perception. But what's more troubling than my "harshness" is how we women sabotage one another under the guise of "friendship" and "kindness." We are so used to supporting our girlfriends that we end up enabling them in destructive ways through decades of "understanding." Then we tell our other girlfriends how "she's in so much denial, wasting her life away." Is that TRULY a friend? I say no. The TRUE friend says "yes, leave that jerk and stop wasting your life 'cause time is almost up – your fertility isn't going to be there in 5 years." But most women reading that comment would call that friend a harsh jerk and prefer the girlfriend who said "Oh, I understand – it's hard; give him a chance, he'll come around, he loves you." The "good" friend is the one who helps you feed into the beast of denial and waste more precious years. The "bad" friend tells it honestly. What pathetic irony!
Ultimately, it is YOU who said you've spent "so much time" in "life's waiting room." Haven't you had enough? Isn't it time for YOU to do for YOU? And don't go run and threaten B* that you're moving forward without him – it hasn't worked yet, and you've ended up looking weak and foolish. Just zip your mouth, dust yourself off and MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH AN RE ASAP and get going. Just go do for YOU!
Signed, Harsh and Awful.
PS: No need to worry, no more "hit and run" comments from me. From now on you'll get only dozens of "hang in there, we support you" words of encouragement and you'll be happy. Again, I just hope you're on a donor egg cycle this Christmas, however YOU have to make it happen for YOU!