Sunday, June 01, 2008

Birthday Shmirthday

I celebrated my birthday last week. Actually, I don't think it is completely accurate to say "celebrated" maybe the word "mourned" is a better classification.

I don't know why, but I am completely obsessed with the notion of getting old. If I had a baby would this feeling stop? would this be the higher purpose that makes all the narcissistic angst vanish? I suspect that I do in fact harbor this fantasy that life will feel less finite with the birth of a child.

Nonetheless, the aging obsession has several data points,
1. pre-mature menopause (check)
2. severe lower back pain that has been with me for over a year (check)
3. this new flabbiness on the side of my breast that I find myself tucking into my underwire bra (check)
4. fatigue that no amount of coffee can seem to cure (check)
5. walking into a store at the montgomery mall called Vintage 1981 and being completely confused (check)


Summer said...

There definitely comes a time when having a birthday reminds you more what you are no longer than what you will be.

I hope it was a relatively good birthday, nevertheless.

Knock Me Up said...

I wonder exactly the same thing -- will having a baby make me feel less finite -- that was a great way to put it. Somehow getting older without a child seems wrong. Getting older with a child that is growing into adulthood seems right. I never hated birthdays until IF hit me -- now birthdays are just sad.

Congrats on the promotion (coming soon) and the long lasting weight loss -- those are great things to celebrate.

Anita M. said...

Happy Birthday....I love your sense of humor. As we get older we gotta laugh more:)