Monday, May 12, 2008

Choice: the excercising of Fr*ee W*ill

I am working with a coach at work on my management style and she left the door open that she was available to help me with my personal goals as well as professional. I figure why not, the office is paying for it and they want me to see her until the end of August.

So I told her the boyfriend in Australia and I want to have a baby story - the abridged version. She recommended two readings, the first an excerpt from her book on divorce about "Choice" and the second a book "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. It's very new agey/western tradition/self actualization stuff but it is providing me with an additional perspective on my life and how I got to where I am at this moment in time.

The issue with Choice, and this is the point of all of this rambling, is that once you choose then the path will be clear. I have to choose to have a baby and then all my actions will point me in that direction. In many ways I have not chosen because I have not acted. Same thing with my relationship (notice she gave me a chapter in her book on divorce to read as I think about my relationship). I can choose not to be with him but I need to truly own it. I'm still feeling murky here even though everyone else seems to be shouting at me about this.


Summer said...

From past experience, I've also found that once you make a choice then everything else seems to follow. What I have struggles with is getting to the point of choosing. I usually have to spend a lot of time churning things over in my head before I can make a choice that I know I can live with and that I know is right.

calliope said...

ok, first things first: YAY! You are "back". I missed you. I really did.

What's interesting about the philosophy of choice is that just because you make the choice to want something and then act upon it it doesn't always happen. And they you are left with these ridiculous notions that you made the wrong choice or the choice isn't worthy of you.

so so glad you are posting again.

Jade said...

In response to calliope-
if it is truly a choice, then you are set free and everything will fall into place and your path is clear.
A decision on the other hand, is not a choice, but merely an action. You may think you have made a choice, but it doesn't have the power and clarity that choice does (so says my coach at least).