This is an update post.
B* was here for 10 days and then went back to Australia to teach for the next 12 weeks. He can't say one way or the other if he will have the fall semester off - he loves his work but hates being away. Not a great combination - makes it tough on all involved.
I spoke with the DE coordinator and told her that our plan is to start up in August. At least I think this is "our" plan. If it's just my plan then so be it. B* is suppose to be back mid-August - either for the fall or for a visit. My thought is that this is when we start the donor cycle and sync everything up for a September transfer. If B* has to go back in the fall then I will ask him to make a deposit before departing.
My greatest fear is that he will wimp out and find an excuse not to come home in August and then I am on my own. He has insisted that we not finance this, we pay cash and that by the end of the summer we should (he should) be able to come up with the money to make the payment. I've mentioned that I've picked up the real estate again to try and make some extra cash this summer towards this goal. So far no clients but it takes time to get rolling.
I worry about B* and all of this flux and ambivalence. I am turning 43 in a few weeks and I may be a good shape but I am not superhuman. I've laid off my cleaning service to save some cash and announced to my therapy group that I am leaving (I've been there for nearly 14 years). The combined savings of these two actions is $600/month. Of Course my therapist is concerned that B* will flake and that I wont move forward but once again extend the deadline. She thinks now is not a good time to leave therapy. It never is a good time to leave.
Life feels hard.