I read Waiting For Daisy on my flight back from Australia. Sue from A Few Good Eggs recommended it as the story of a woman who experiences infertility and chooses ultimately to pursue donor egg. Well, Sue must not have finished the book because - that is not how the story ends. Now, before I give away the ending let me say, yes it is a good book for infertiles - an easy read and a way of commiserating with another articulate, professionally successful woman who chose to put off pregnancy until her late thirties and then had to deal with the consequences.
Now to the ending and how it all turns out....
The donor egg cycle is a failure. She goes on to get pregnant on her own and has a happily ever after tale after slogging through the throws of infertility. I should be happy for Peggy Orenstein who ends up successfully passing her DNA on to the next generation, but instead I felt resentful. Perhaps my resentment was exacerbated by the fact that I thought this was a book about a woman who has a baby using Donor Egg. My reader expectations were calibrated incorrectly from the get-go.
Yes, so in the end, her eggs work out fine and it was the crappy sperm all along. Wouldn't that be nice if that turned out to be the case and yet, for me, it is a fantasy.
And (insult to injury) she actively resisted having children when she was already married, concerned that it would get in the way of her successful career, now even more successful with the publishing of this latest book. Many of us have to choose to slow down our careers to deal with infertility (like me) - to make what has often been the area of highest satisfaction and gratification and secondary priority - pursuing the dream of motherhood in the hope that it will be the panacea we've always dreamed it would be.
Peggy Orenstein, I hope you know how good you have it.
Peggy Orenstein is doing a big media tour for the book. I came across a blog for the Josh Kornbluth Show on KQED that invited comments - so I left some!!!