Friday, February 23, 2007

Vacation to Australia - A Needed Distraction

My vacation to Australia is just a little more than a week away and I am starting to get quite excited. I will be in Sydney from March 8-11 and Adelaide March 12-16. Restaurant and shopping recommendations are greatly appreciated! I am also hoping to get together for a drink with some of my IF/DE blogger pals.

We are staying at the Four Points Sheraton in Darling Harbour (tourist central) and plan to explore all of the neccesary attractions: the Rocks, Aquarium, Opera House, Manly Beach, Watson's Bay. All recommendations are welcome. In Adelaide I will probably do a nearby winery tour and I think we are planning an overnight at Kangaroo Island which looks fabulous (see picture above).

No word back yet from the donor on moving the date but I am going to assume that this works for her (pray that it works I should say).

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


Thanks for all the kind notes on my last entry re: Feeling Left Behind. One Note: not all my favorite bloggers are pregnant - but there has been a fertile patch lately for a number of you. And perhaps the rest of us just have to hang on a little bit longer.

I spoke with the Donor coordinator and she is going to speak with the donor and see if the one month delay is okay. She did suggest shipping the sperm over from Australia if all else fails - I am hoping it doesn't come to this.

Here is the optimism - ie the title of the post:
My clinic's stats for 2006:

pregnancy rate with anonymous donor egg is 100%
pregnancy rate into second tri-mester with anonymous donor egg is 82%

55% singleton
41% twins
5% triplets

I point out anonymous donor above because directed donor success rates are lower (makes sense).

But these are good stats if I can just get B* to give me his sperm in a timely fashion. I joked with the donor coordinator today that if I have to give up on B*'s sperm, I'm definetly going for taller.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Feeling Left Behind

All my favorite bloggers are preggers and I am feeling left behind. Happy for them and quite jealous at the same time.

This is made worse by the fact that B* will not be back from Australia until the beginning of May. This is new, he has known for quite a while but I just figured it out and got him to fess up. He had lead me to believe that his gig would be over in late March. I am more than a little upset -

1. because he lied (he said to avoid the drama - well guess what, this makes it worse!)
2. because I have to wait that much longer to get started and May is my b-day (43~) and I really really wanted to be pregnant before my f-ing birthday
3. because this could be an issue for the donor we have in the que

I have emailed the donor coordinator to make sure this timing issue doesn't screw things up. I also indicated we would do what was necessary to make it work. I know B* would pitch more than a fit if he had to do a 2 day trip to the states for this purpose but he is such sh*t for lying to me.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Do Pregnant Women Really Look Like This?

If I looked like this not pregnant I would be happy. I don't know why, but I am obsessed with these idealized pregnancy images.

I think my problem is that I've spent too much time at the
Twins belly gallery scaring myself half to death.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Money = An Infertile's Nightmare

I've been stressing about money. I am worried about how in debt I already am and how much more debt I am preparing to take on in the next 30 days.

People have kids every day that they really can't afford but they make it work because it's just money.

I can't even imagine making the decision not to have children because I can't afford it. My finances are a complete high wire act -

Here comes the full disclosure:
I own my House (the mortgage company owns 80%) which I can barely afford. B* had to file personal bankruptcy earlier this year as a result of a long protracted child support battle that drove him into a deep deep hole. Our finances are completely separate and we are not married (partially) because of money. He is desperately working to pull himself out of the hole - the bankruptcy is an effort to wipe the slate clean - as odd as that sounds.

I already have credit card debt (about 1/3rd related to infertility) and now the DE/IVF procedure will be paid for by home equity line. And..I am going on vacation to see B* in Australia.

B* is there for 3 months to make money so we can afford our life. I am justifying the Australia trip as my last free-wheeling vacation for a very very long time.

We've discussed moving to a less expensive city -- DC is just a big boulder of expense on top of both of us.

The insanity of all of this is that we both make six figures and once upon a time that was good money, but now it barely pays the bills.

Am I crazy? how do others manage?