Friday, November 17, 2006

DE Counseling Session Report

Today was our DE counseling session.

It was actually quite intense at moments. The counselor wanted to know if I have sufficiently grieved the loss of my ability to conceive with my own eggs. When do you ever finish grieving something like this? There is so much shame, loss and feelings of failure.

We talked about who we would plan to tell, and we both agreed that we dont really want to tell our families. Both the Counselor and B* were in agreement about telling the child, I on the other hand said I couldn't imagine a more difficult or painful conversation. She whipped out a children's book to show us (that was actually quite cute). She suggests introducing the topic either prior to the age of 8 or after the age of 25. Ofcourse B* said after 25 or 35 was fine. And I quipped that by the age of 35 he might not even be around to worry about telling the kid. One interesting point she made about this is that it is harder for the mother than it is for the child. I don't know if this is true, but it made me feel a little bit better.

The big issue that B* and I don't agree on is whether or not to put back 1 or put back 2. Neither one of us would want to do selective reduction. He is concerned that twins will be too much of a strain on my health. I on the other hand want us to have the highest probability of success and would welcome twins even if it was a health risk for me. We haven't settled this one - B* wants to get more information from the RE before we settle into what we will/would do. Even with FET I am still inclined to want to put back 2. I don't know why I'm not more concerned about my health. I even know someone having twins who is dealing with a single umbilical artery issue for one of the babies and she is in hell.

If anyone has any thoughts or advice on the issue I would greatly appreciate your input.

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