Monday, November 06, 2006
D- Day (one of many)
Back to the RE's office this morning for more bloodwork - did the FSH come down? We shall find out later today. I was relieved when I walked into the waiting room - it was empty (for a change). Just me and my DC Paparazzi magazine.
I am feeling like DE is an inevitability. B* would be happy to procrastinate - that is something he tends to exceed at and drives me completely insane. The cost feels like a big boulder - but it is all about priorities and choices. I console myself by saying that adoption isn't any cheaper. Now some will say, "odds are higher with adoption" but that is not where I am at. I want to carry the baby in this 42 year old body. My friends have warned, "you will never be the same after pregnancy," - well maybe I don't want to be the same. It feels like a right of passage to me and if I can have the experience, I want it. I also like DE because I can play an important role in the pre-natal development which is not to be underestimated. And ofcourse, there is the genious IQ sperm that B* will be making available for the blessed event.
My first big step is fishing out the card of the social worker and making the appointment, I am putting that on the to -do list for this week no matter what.
On a separate D-Day note, I have my annual review in 1 hour. I spent 3 hours this weekend working on my self evaluation. This do nothing girl (see previous post) is actually in the quieu (sp?) for a promotion - there has been some hesistancy expressed about whether or not I am ready. After much anger and frustration I have adopted the Zen Master approach to the whole thing - if it happens, it was meant to be and if not - then I can focus on DE and all the other insanity.