Sunday, October 22, 2006

Acupunture and Acrimony

Yesterday was my first visit with a new acupuncturist. I have already gone the Traditional Chinese medicine route for 6 months and since my estrogen levels are "in the basement" (term used by RE nurse) I thought it was worth mixing things up a little. I haven't ovulated since early August and so far being back on the estrogen patch has not produced any results - so why not trying somehting new or atleast different.

The practitioners are primarily woman, so that by itself is a change for me. My new acupuncturist has studied a variety of approaches and likes to blend methods. She is also an herbalist. She is much more gentle with the needles than the guy I was seeing and I could feel my body releasing tension as she worked. I liked that she was checking my pulses as she worked to see if she was hitting the right spots -- she seemed pleased with how I responded. I liked her and made appointments for the next two saturdays -

Acrimony --- I had hoped to go on vacation the week of Thanksgiving but given current budget conditions B* and I have decided it is not the right time to be spending money and taking time away. My Mother had been quite upset about our vacation plans because she had thought this would be the time when she, my Father and my Sister would come to town and see my new house. So when I called her yesterday and said we had changed our plans and I would now like to host Thanksgiving she said she would need to get back to me -

When I got back from acupuncture there was a voicemail that they tickets were looking very expensive and she wasn't sure they would be coming. I called and offered to find better deals on flights. When I called back to let then know about the cheaper flights I was informed that they were not going to come for the holidays. It was really not about the money, they were still upset that having them for Thanksgiving was not my first choice activity and so forget it.

My brain knows that it is actually better if they don't come for the holidays - it will only be stressful and likely unpleasant. However, the rejection still hurts and their spitefullness pisses me off. Two weeks ago my Mother cancelled her trip to visit my Grandmother in Brooklyn because my Uncle had suggested that they go to the cemetary while she was there. She didn't want him controlling her visit and opted not to see her 91 year old Mother rather than letting her Brother control the situation. When was the last time she saw her Mother? a year ago. The woman is 91 years old!!!

I just have to focus on my own family - B* and four rambunctous dogs - who love me and want to be with me. My Parents are twisted, lonely and isolated and I never want this to be my life.

I don't tell them much about what's going on with my health - my Mother would simply pick away at me with questions - peeling back the scab and throwing in some salt for good measure.

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